The Last Poem For You All

I'm hurting right now you guys.  I have put my heart out there so many times.  Almost every time it gets smashed to pieces.  I now know of three people that just passed in two days.  My dad has cancer and it hurts my heart knowing my dad's in pain and could die.  My bi-polar is on a downwards spiral.  I keep writing people poems and in return something negative happens.  I wrote my friend a poem for her to be my valentines.  She loved the poem, but then she told me someone already asked her a few hours earlier. I'm sick of being second best.  In sports, with women, picked last in elementary, never number 1.  Then I wrote a coffee shop girl a poem, I asked her how she liked it and she said that I'm fucking weird or strange.  Both poems caused me sadness in the end.  So I don't know how long it will be till I write next.  Life sucks right now.  I feel alone.  I just want to stay in my room and sleep.  I don't want to write on the internet anymore cause I don't want to affect anyone in a negative way.  So for now this will be my last poem...

Putting my heart out in the open to share

So many times I've gotten a bad glare

It hurts having my heart smashed to smitherines 

I'm sinking like a mayday submarine 

Left to right

Day or night

I do my best

But my heart gets ripped out of my chest

The pain I feel in my hearts hurt

The tears in my eyes squirt

Like little raindrops hitting the ground

No hope on earth is to be found

Brain going crazy

Feeling light headed and hazy

I just want to sleep

Forever count the sheep

Thumps in my chest pound

I can hear my hearts sound

Barely eating any food

Being in my place, who would

Leave me alone for a while

I'm done with my poetry style

No more will be shared

I feel like no one's cared

I feel stupid writing to them

I thought I gave them a jem

I was way wrong

It's been a terrible song

My father has cancer

I wish I had the answer

But I do not

I don't want to see him rot 

This is my last sad poem to you

There's nothing else I can do

It just hurts too much inside

Now I'm going to hide

Thank you to the ones who read

I no longer need to bleed

Just need to stop writing

It just causes drama or fighting

Let this last be know

Everything I wrote is not just a show

It's true, everyone

Now, I AM DONE!