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Thursday, December 9, 2010

Suicide Of Mine

October 22nd 2008 is my suicide attempt day,
I can't tell you every detail, but this is what I'll say,
I was in a tremendous amount of pain,
Satan as my accomplice, I took Gods name in vein.

I was sad over a girl that treated me like shit,
After so much, I couldn't take anymore, I was done with it,
I left work early that day and I went home,
Went straight to the bathroom, I didn't roam.

Listening to Bob Dylan's song "Tangled Up In Blue,"
This is how I attempted suicide, this is what I did do,
Half a family sized bottle of Tylenol makes my stomach rumble,
Next two prescriptions of Trazedone which makes me stumble.

Also I didn't know Tylenol was a blood thinner,
Two other suicide attempts, I was not a beginner,
Ready to leave this cruel place,
I had a smile on my face.

I grabbed my two razorblades, got in that evil shower,
Slitting my left wrist again and again was the power,
So many cuts, I thought I was done,
Nope, I decided to cut again inside the middle one.

I laid down in comfort as I lost the red blood,
From all my cuts came a non-stopping bloody flood,
I'd stand up for a few seconds just to fall right back down,
It was at that moment I could feel evils crown.

As I sat in warmth, Satan walks in,
Evil thoughts and wicked laughs start to begin,
So excited to get out of this terrible life,
I was extremely happy that I used the knife.

Honestly, I could fell Satan's presence right by my side,
I couldn't get up and run, there was no place to hide,
I lost so much blood, I had no control,
Over my strong body, I was loosing my soul.

Every single second I could feel myself starting to die,
I didn't want to live, I thought there was no reason why,
I started to shake uncontrollably, the water had gone cold,
In that shower for an HOUR AND A HALF, I thought I was sold.

The water was ice cold, I had to get out,
Slipping and falling as I tried to stand about,
I wanted to be warm so I grabbed my black towel,
Next part of the story was my biggest foul.

I lost my balance so I put my left hand down,
Fell again and again, it was a bloody mess, I did frown,
This scene was literally hell on earth,
I felt my life was not worth.

All of the sudden there were bangs on the door,
It was then my heart sunk to the deep core,
"What the fuck's going on in there man?
Unlock the door or I'm busting it open, you know I can!"

It took me 30 seconds to unlock that impossible knob,
He was starring in, back and forth I did bob,
"Where the fuck did all this blood come from?"
I showed him my wrist, I was completely numb.

He asked why I had done it,
At that time I lost so much blood I couldn't say shit,
He wrapped me in a blanket, carried me down three flights of stairs,
I knew death was not far, he was saving me because he cares.

There was one thing that might have saved me,
I wanted heat, he said "no" and turned on the AC,
He drove like a bat out of hell to the hospital,
He knew I was close to death and it was fatal.

When we arrived he ran for a wheelchair,
Rushed me into the hospital then started to blare,
"This kid's cut himself way fucking bad!"
All the other patients were shocked and were sad.

Multiple doctors came to save me from hell,
Then they said, "You can close your eyes, all is well,"
Why I was saved, truly I don't know,
I think it was just an intermission in my show.

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