Confused?

Confusing, it's the word that gets me everyday,
Huh, wait, is that what you said?
I understood your words but misunderstood the sentence,
If I'm Catholic and she's Mormon, why can't we play?

Why do so many dislike the lesbian and gay?
It's their lives, their choice,
We all make choices, why aren't we all equal?
Loving all, I do my best to show in every way.

He said, she said, that it said, "What?"
Can't we all be straight forward and honest,
Why do we make up new lies that have to make sense with old lies?
The answer to your question is this, but.

God, now he, she, it or whatever it is, people cause havoc,
So many wars because of others beliefs of God,
Don't you know God loves all his children?
Why do most Americans, even I, hate almost every Hispanic?

Loved ones die, I just can't comprehend,
Why isn't it the ones who rape and kill?
I know this, their sins are not Gods will,
What is it like, death, infinity, the end?

There is so much more confusing things to me,
I'll just stop thinking, be happy, wait pissed, huh bored,
Shit, I'm confused once again, ah piss,
Hope it make sense, if not, let it be.

Why Is It I Want To Die?

Why is it i want to die right now?
My life is fine but to live happy right now don't know how,
Can one of you people who read help me,
Just write something that will set me free.

Is there anyone out there who wants to die too,
Get hit by a car, someone please do,
Why am I not grateful for what I have?
To the heart I have felt a stab.

I just don't understand, can you please help me out,
I'm not worth while it seems, this is my cry, my shout,
I don't want to work the rest of my life to have to get by,
I'd rather just give up and just die.

Why do I have depression and bi-polar?
It makes my life such a coral,
I wish I could just be happy all the time,
Feel like I'm just acting like a mime.

Somebody who cares let me know,
I want my energy to again glow,
Why should I live long when I'm just going to die?
6 feet under is where I feel I lye.

Someone let me know that you care,
I need some wisdom, please share,
I feel like I want to die soon,
My life will end like if you were to pop a balloon.

Wait, Read!

The full moon has risen,
Tonight is the night i come out to feed,
On what you ask,
To feed on my new way of living.

How, is your next question,
By changing my actions to do better,
Stop my negative thinking,
Live my life to the fullest.

What can i do better at,
Work, that's for sure,
Treating my family like they should be treated,
Being kind to myself, stop hurting.

The moon causes me to go through different phases,
And this moon is special, it's a gift,
From who? God of course,
Tonight it's shined so bright, so vivid.

To those who read I honestly thank you,
Writing poetry is what i love to do,
Maybe I don't have your answer,
But you do, inside yourself, you have all the power.

So, with this new full moon you can start over too,
Do what you want to do, make it count,
You can start over every sunset,
Or keep moving forward, do your best!

Bi-Polar

I hate myself, I'm the biggest piece of shit,
I'm a chicken, problems arise, I just run from it,
No confidence in myself, people I don't talk to,
Feelings of worthlessness, always in the blue.

Hate life, every night I think of how to die,
Suicide three times, so hard i did try,
In my room i cut because of the guilt and shame,
Always fucking up, it's I, I choose to blame.

In my deep dark hole, comfort from it i sit,
My face I hate, every little single bit,
I'm fat and ugly, no one likes me, even me,
So many times I've wanted to hang from that god forsaken tree.

Suicides I attempted, why the fuck didn't they work,
Want to be in Hell, have Satan as my clerk,
Always in self-pity, life, just fucking end,
I hate you all, I'm part of no fucking trend.

Always alone weather I'm with you or not,
My temper is outrageous, I get extremely hot,
If I could get away with it, I'd kill you all,
Life, I never succeed, every single time I just fall.

When you read this I hope you fucking cry,
Feel the pain I feel every time I want to die,
Now you know, every part of me i so god damn hate,
I cannot wait until the end, my very own fate.

What you just read is the evil that is within,
But now I'm so happy, here it is, let's begin!

Not afraid of anything, I rise up from the underground,
Loving everyone in sight, also everything that's around,
What's on my face? A smile, never that sad frown,
I have confidence in myself, no one can put me down.

I choose to love myself because i am great,
You people I love, I will never hate,
Worthlessness and self-pity, huh? They don't exist,
I' so freaking happy, shit I'm never piste.

My laugh is hysterical, rubs off on others,
I love my mom, dad, sisters, and brothers,
Living life to the fullest I now choose,
I have faith in God, I'll never loose.

Take care of responsibilities, care for my family,
Help others when they're in need, I'm friendly,
Don't think of suicide cause that's the easy way out,
I'll live my life cause I want to see what it's about.

If I mess up I can give myself a break,
I'm true to my friends, I'm never fake,
Through everything it's me who will be by your side,
The most caring, loving person, you'll never have to hide.

As you read, you may cry, make them tears of joy, I'm alive,
Pushing forward I feel you and I will forever strive,
That tree i talked about, It's actually beauty,
Now that being said, don't worry, cause guess what? I love me for me!

Fuck It

In the playground, tied the noose around my neck,
These fucked up thoughts and feelings no longer in check,
Family and friends, don't care if you're in pain,
Feel my evil spirit, I say Gods name in vein.

Out to the garage, I turn on the car,
Carbon monoxide, I will die, get away so far,
As i lye by the exhaust, breathe in the filthy air,
It was death on my mind, life, i didn't care.

Take pills and prescriptions, drink the alcohol down,
In Mexico I attempted suicide, didn't work, I did frown,
Woken up by friends, they asked why, fucking why,
Filled with anger and rage, all i could do was cry.

The gun to my head, I blew my fucking brains out,
Because i hated life, didn't know what it was about,
They walked in and saw my blood splattered on the wall,
My mother first, out of sadness, to her knees she did fall.

100 Tylenol, 2 prescriptions of Trazedone, I wanted to go,
In the shower slit my wrist, the blood did soever flow,
Why'd that mother fucker save my life,
I did it cause of a woman i wanted to be my wife.

All are things I've done or wanted to do,
The people who saved me, I fucking hate you,
One of these days I will do it right,
I'm so excited for when i see the black light.